The vows. The cake. The first dance. Being a newlywed is true bliss – until the honeymoon is over and you realize you have two households to merge into one. Sure, sending thank-you cards to 200 guests and deciding on which gorgeous photos to include in the album are tough. But the real challenge is creating a new “home” as Mr. and Mrs.
I’m days away from celebrating my one-year wedding anniversary, so it wasn’t too long ago I was in this same predicament. Although, I’m probably in the teeny tiny minority of wives whose husband not only accompany them on trips to Crate & Barrel but actually suggests it as a Saturday afternoon activity. We’re also lucky to agree on the décor and style of our home (well, everything except for the nautical pieces he tries to sneak in…).
But for the great majority of newlyweds who have clashing taste and style, your first fight as husband and wife could very easily be over a table lamp. Not to mention the piles of registry gifts and all of the hand-me-downs your mother-in-law tries to pass off on you.
So what should you do? Here are a few tips of advice:
Choose your battles. There are some things each party is just not willing to give up, (his ratty recliner, her frilly accent pillows) so why argue about it? It’s okay to incorporate old with new. If you really feel strongly about an item, ask to him/her to keep it in their personal space, like a den or home office. After all, that’s why the “man cave” was invented.
Organized chaos. While it’s perfectly acceptable for rooms to have a relaxed, cozy feel, it’s very possible your spouse may take it a little too far to the point of being messy. You can’t blame him/her for the occasional dirty socks, but if the clutter starts to cramp your style, gently suggest a cleaning schedule or offer to clean up half of the house while your partner tackles the other half.
Give and take. With a new home comes the opportunity for all new furniture and décor. But having the luxury of picking out nicer pieces comes with the price of compromise. If you can’t come to a peaceful decision, try letting certain rooms be a reflection of each of you (him in the living room, her in the bedroom), just make sure it’s fairly divided.
In the end, it all comes down to communication. The more you talk with each other, the more you’ll learn about your partner’s preferences and style, which will ultimately lead to a smoother integration, less arguments and a joyful happily ever after.
